I have been going to ‘Here and Now’ groups for 27 years and continue to be enthusiastic about how the situation provides me with the opportunity to be surprised, to get to know myself, to relate instead of switching off, and to connect with myself and others in unexpected ways. Maybe you’ll decide to join me in a group meeting soon.
Booking your place
Below on this page are some more details about what’s on offer here…. but if you are already clear you’d like to attend one of my one-off group meetings, please go to the following link and sign up.
NB If you don’t want to sign up via meetup.com please get in touch and we’ll work around that.
This group provides a space for people to come together and make authentic connection with self and others in the ‘Here and Now’.
During the group
The invitation is to stay in the here-and-now, to stay present.
Here’s my advice: in each moment, notice your current
Share these with the group, if you like.
Try to avoid doing the following:
• When you are NOT charged, describing aspects of your personality, or things in your ‘there and then’ (e.g. job, relationships).
The invitation is to avoid saying “What do you do?”, “Where do you live?” etc. and instead to explore “What’s really going on for me/you, right now?”
At the end of each meeting there is no debrief, or checkout, so it’s up to you to say anything you want within the meeting time.
These one-off groups are either facilitated or peer…
1. Facilitated groups
I will pay attention to the endeavour to stay present and in contact with self and others. When I think it will be useful, I’ll offer questions and/or prompts to help the group and individuals in that enterprise.
2. Peer groups
Experience a group of equals where there is no leader to show you what to do. Once the group meeting has started I am an equal participant.)
Group meetings have a beginning and an end time, plus time for a break, but other than that have no structure, so as to allow an open space for the participants to use as they wish: there is no set task or division of roles.
The experience will be both interpersonal and intra-personal. This means that there is an element of relating to others in the group, so it’s inter-active, but it also provides an opportunity for internal reflection, about how you are, in the moment.
This group is meant to be therapeutic, but it is not a ‘therapy group’…
It is ‘therapeutic’ meaning that it is meant to help us all live more fruitfully and at peace with our selves. This setting can be profoundly useful.
By contrast, in a therapy group you would meet each week in a group with a fixed membership. The therapist would help you explore in detail your interactions and how they relate to your past and present life.
The group is not suitable for people who are very emotionally fragile or disturbed, nor for anyone whose life is in chaos. Having said that, it should be fine for you as long as you welcome the opportunity to reflect on how you are in the present moment, and can tolerate the fact that we won’t know in advance what will be said.
Whilst it may help you if you have had some experience of group-work, this is not essential.
I can’t talk about the benefits that you will get, as we are all unique. But I can tell you about the benefits for me:
• Getting in touch with myself…feeling ‘connected up’
• Getting in touch with others…connections
• ‘Uncertainty training’
• The ability to wait
• Getting feedback from others
During the CORONAVIRUS lockdown these groups are all online via Zoom.
Live groups are held in a private secure location, usually my therapy room in Leeds:
637 Roundhay Road,
See http://richardmills.co.uk/?page_id=38 for directions.
The Guest House (by Rumi)
This being human is a guest-house
Every morning a new arrival
A joy, a depression, a mean-ness, some momentary awareness
Comes as an unexpected visitor
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture.
Still treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
That dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Further opportunities for Here and Now groups
I first found out about these groups in the CCI co-counselling network where I go to 3 or 4 residential events each year, and I go to one or two Here and Now groups each time. To find out more visit http://www.co-counselling.co.uk
This group is not suitable for absolutely everyone, and may not be suitable for you if:
• You rarely smile at anyone
• You feel that the world is against you
• Your accommodation and work and social live are all in a state of chaos
• Your behaviour is significantly extreme
• Eye contact feels almost unbearable
• Your life has big highs and lows, over which you feel you have little control
• You frequently experience overwhelming despair
Instructions and any questions
Please make sure you have read the instructions in my advert on the meetup.com page regarding arrival times, confidentiality and other instructions.
Any questions, please give me a call.
Richard Mills, on 07984002495
Just a few of many testimonials
• ‘It was extraordinary. Thank you all x’ – Chris Beale
• ”Wow, I feel a buzz. Thank you all. It was warming, moving, profound, reaffirming…” – Charlie, 1st November, 2016.
• ‘Another super series of moments in the here-and-now. I love this.’ Vicki
• ‘Amazing experience that I don’t get anywhere else.’ – Deborah, 20 June 2016
See here for the next dates, or email me…
Booking your place
Booking is via meetup.com, but if you don’t want to sign up via meetup.com please get in touch and we’ll work around that.